Saturday, January 12, 2008

Dr. Seuss with a Mormon Twist

A missionary in our ward received this book as a Christmas present from his grandmother, Lois Moffett. She bought her grandson, Elder Luthy, a "Green Eggs and Ham" book, but revised it a little. With Elder Luthy's permission, I thought I'd share it with you.




I am Lurch.
From the Church.

That Brother Lurch, that Brother Lurch a do not like that Brother Lurch.

Do you like the Mormon Church?

I do not like the Mormon Church.

Would you Read the Book of Mormon here or there?

I would not read it here or there, I would not read it anywhere. I do not like the Mormon Church, I do not like it Brother Lurch.



I will not go into your house, I will not let you teach my spouse. I won’t read your book here or there. I will not read it anywhere. I do not like the Mormon church. I do not like it, Brother Lurch.

Would you read it in a box? We could talk about it with our latest convert, Bro. Fox

I won’t discuss it in a box, I will not meet with Bro Fox . You won’t indoctrinate my spouse, so don’t invite us to your house.


You may like it, you will see. We’ll talk about [Joseph] Smith and genealogy.

I could not do genealogy, not Joe Smith, Lurch, let me be.

A train! A train! A train! A train! We could go to Utah on a train.

Not on a train, not genealogy, Lurch, let me be I won’t discuss it in a box, I will not meet with Brother Fox. You will not get me or my spouse to set one foot inside your house!


You will have to give up your champagne.

There’s nothing wrong with my champagne, I’ll need some when I get off this train!

Maybe you think Mormons are weird, were you told we have horns and a beard?
Mormons have parties with [green jello] and root beer? You shouldn’t believe everything you hear!

You know, I kind of like root beer, and parties are not all that queer. I think I’ll give up my champagne. I hear that stuff can melt your brain. But no more cigarettes or tea? I can’t do that you see? I won’t discuss it in a box, I will not meet with Brother Fox. I will not come into your house, and keep your distance from my spouse. I won’t read your book here or there. I will not read it anywhere!

You do not like the Mormon Church?

I do not like it, Brother Lurch.

You do not like it. So you say. Try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may, I say!

Brother Lurch, if you will let me be, I will try it, you will see.

Say! and I will invite my friends to come and hear, and teach them all to love root beer!
I’ll throw away my champagne and head to Utah on a train, I’ll do my genealogy, It’s so, so fun, you see.
So we’ll discuss it in a box. I’d like to meet with Brother Fox. You can take me to your house, and have the elders teach my spouse. I’ll read the scriptures here and there and convert my good friends everywhere!




I LOVED THIS!

11 comments:

The Marielle (and Parents) Show said...

What will they come up with next!!

Mikael said...

That is so funny!!! Where did you get that? That is the funniest thing. I read the whole thing to my husband.

Max said...

Hi, you don't know me, at least I don't think you do, (you never know with blogs) but I found your blog when I did a search for "Luthy" I am trying to find an old friend and I think the elder Luthy might be his brother Blake. If you know anything would you mind emailing me at booksgallore@hotmail.com Thanks!
Maria

Bennett said...

I swear I saw this exact same book when I was on my mission in Iowa a few years ago. I don't remember who had it, but it was circulating around the mission office one day. Totally wierd!?

Tam.I.am said...

I was on my mission in Iowa Des Moines (Feb 1995 to Aug 1996) when I was given the written words and drawn pictures to go with the book, Green Eggs and Ham. All I had to do was cut out the words, color the pictures in, and glue stick it in the book. It had been passed around by the missionaries in my mission, so I don't know who originally made it. It was the coolest thing, especially with the pictures. :) Unfortunately, with my moving around so much, I lost the book years ago. I've been doing a search for the words and pics again, but can only find the words. :( Perhaps I will have to draw them out mytself. Anyway, thanks for posting this so I could at least have the words again! :)

Valerie said...

I've never seen this. So funny! Sounds like a good activity for my girls to help with.

L. Scott said...

I will have to do this for my missionary! So cute! How creative!

One Crafty Kiddo said...

I got a copy of this from my trainer in April of 1995 in Tacoma. I then shared it with a handful of others on the mission, and then a few more Elders and Sisters in the Peoria Mission and then the Baltimore Mission since then. I'm glad to see it has endured- with very few alterations. I wonder where it all started..... It's a great ice breaker for HT or VT visits with small children.

Unknown said...

This has made it to the Philippines! My son was a ZL and he and his companion performed this in the last Zone Meeting before he came home from his mission. He shared it with us and we loved it.

Unknown said...

This has made it to the Philippines! My son was a ZL and he and his companion performed this in the last Zone Meeting before he came home from his mission. He shared it with us and we loved it.

Kristen Snoozy Independent CTMH consultant said...

I would love to get one of these or be able to print it out for my missionary, does anyone know where I can get one or a download??

Thanks!
Kristen momsnoozy3@yahoo.com